~You look at the world through bars of your thoughts,
A calmer face, a screaming mind.
Apocalyptic by all means.
You scroll the contact lists ,
Look for some reliable human,
To talk, just to talk.
You sit by the glass panes in an empty coffee shop,
Stare at crowd passing by.
Some boys and girls, cheerful as sunlight.
Some lovers too much in love.
Some kids unbothered.
Some vulnerable rag pickers, staring at them too.
Your restless mind, unsatisfactory coffee sips.
Fragile tears. Fragile smiles.
Fragile fates. Fragile mind.
Pretty little soul, But you will heal🌻
~To a girl who seldom smiled~
Today while passing by our farms, I paused for a while and observed around. A vacant, road vanishing into a dense canopy. A mild rainy sky that has bleed enough. Trees soaked and content with what has been poured on them.
I can't help but remember you. I can so clearly recall the scene of past days in front of my eyes. Nothing has changed. Or everything has,may be.
I revise an evening spent with you in the verandah of nearby old village school. When we were stuck in rain and couldn't return home.
Rains remind me of you. Always. I wish I could tell you.
Soaked in rain, my blood-red face , irritated voice and the bright red T clinging to my skins, we waited for the rain to stop or lessen. I don't know why I never have words to phrase that one hour spent with you under the leaking roof. As if time stopped that day for us. Rains were heavy for us. Your face seemed like a sun lost in clouds that have decided to never move. I watched you glow. More and more.
We talked of my studies, my friends, my parents and your dreams. The dreams that had simplicity and humbled vibe. With each laugh your eyes becoming calmer and calmer. You wished me luck. You blessed me several times. I wondered why.
I remember how keenly you held my hand , tracing each line of folds. I told you to stop. Obviously that was so odd 😄. I couldn't gulp the fact that you were so so calm and didn't want to return. Each time I prayed for the rain to stop, you would cut my line and talk of life, pink skies, sweet mangoes, nuts and corn. Adding more to my irritation. A 14 years me couldn't guess a 23 years old girl's poetic and metaphorical clue. I still wonder why j couldn't.
I thought you were being dramatic. Or may be you were exited because of the rains 👀.
Observing the skies I told you that we can get out and reach home asap so that we are not caught in again. You deny. You deny furiously. I was obviously shocked. It was getting dark. The woods were dense. No one could be seen till distances my eyes could reach.
And there you were standing stubborn. Rigid. Like have you ever seen someone calmer and rigid both?
~I can write for hours and days,
For all the dreams we wish to live,
Coffee sips and pillow talks,
Caught up peeps and stares,
Outnumbered and skipped heartbeats,
Early morning lazy confessions,
Hastes to make me hear all your stuff,
Some obsessions dominating our minds,
An urge to love more than one should.
I can write for hours and days,
For all the dreams we wish to live~
~There was something unique in way how you talked of holy waters and cultures you were born in. It was all away from the gamble and fake crusts of mankind. It made me think about the connection we could establish. ~
A village by the sea,
A home built by you for me,
Some gardens pious,
Thoughts dipped in fragrances,
Of some love and care.
Each step towards me,
Bringing oceans that bleed,
One evening spent,
I don't know if you remember it.
One evening spent of love and concerns.
Some matters resolved , some pages unturned,
I dont know if you remember it.
Some years later , after we didn't talk,
Accusing and holding each other both,
Under the iron shed full of rust,
Amidst the woods with broken crusts,
I admitted how I panicked once on thought of letting you go.
You confessed how once you were filled with fear,
with thought of letting me go.