My negative experiences with my parents and ex boyfriend made me believe that being dependent on someone was the worst thing I could do. Because of being forced to care for the adults around me and the younger children's emotional needs I didn't need anyone as a child, everyone needed me. And I hated it, it exhausted me. My own needs were not met until I was 19 and living by myself. As a teenager I began to need friends but I stopped letting myself be dependent on friends (with the exception of one) around the age of 19. For years the only people I let myself rely on were my therapist, my friend and my now ex boyfriend. After the break up I moved states and I didn't have any of those people anymore. It was very lonely.
Then I met Nate and he taught me that it was ok to ask things of other's, whether that be support or to treat me in a certain way. I told myself for such a long time that I needed to be able to look after myself on my own, without anyone else and it's such a relief to not live like that anymore.
I know that we want to be strong and independent and not need anyone, especially a man but it is ok to let someone look after you. Love can be so difficult when you have been hurt tremendously but it's ok to try to trust. Yes keeping people at a safe distance prevents the pain of losing them but it also steals closeness.