When I got tired of running from you,
I stopped right there to catch my breath,
There your words they caught my ears you said,
I miss you son come home,
And when the doors were closed,
I heard no "I told you so's,"
I said the words I knew you knew,
"I needed You." ~Relient K
Take a deep breath. Let it out.
It's like waking up from a dream. A nightmare. What have I been doing? How did I get here? How did it come to this? Life is a blur and occasionally something hit you square in the chest and stops you in your tracks. Something that reminds you of who you once were, who you are being currently, and who you want to be. Suddenly I don't look so good anymore. How did I let things go like this?
The song Reckless Love has been crushing me the past few hours. God began unwinding the knots I've tied in my brain, removed the lies, and persistently fought to engulf my thoughts in truth. Of who I am; "What they say doesn't matter." What I think of myself; "All that matters is what I think of you. I love you." Reminding me of who I am; "Be who you are in Me." The past few weeks I've been letting what people say about me ruin my life. I put God on the back burner, said I'll take care of this, and proceeded to get frustrated and give up on trying to be a good man. I began wondering if it was even worth it anymore. I felt as though God left. I felt as though everyone left. But then it hit me. I've said for a long time, "God meets you where you're at." Where this is true, I never grasped the concept of Him relentlessly pursuing us. My brokenness led me to understand ; There is nothing that can stop God from pursuing our hearts. His love is reckless and endless. It overwhelmed me. These words reminded me what God's love looks like and inspired me to get back up and run with Him. Because he's not just meeting us, he's pursuing us. Who I was in the past, or the present, is no longer of consequence. Who I choose to be each morning is all that God cares about. Lamentations says that God's faithfulness is great, and His mercies are new each morning. Take a deep breath, let it out. And remember that tomorrow is a new day, and your Creator pursues you relentlessly. Scars and all.